The Creepy, Old Man

There is nothing that makes me smile more in life than a creepy old man, especially when that man is a professor on campus.

As I was leaving class, I was approaching two fine young ladies. As I can closer to them, I recognized one as a friend. As we rushed by she gave me a smile and we exchanged hellos.

As we parted ways, with a smile she gave me a squeeze on my arm and said, “See you later.”

No big deal. That’s just what friends do. As I’m about to put my headphones on, I hear a voice behind me.

“Man, I need to watch your moves.”

I quickly turned around to see who it was. To my surprise it was an elderly gentleman with gray and white hair, wearing an almost checker patterned brown suite, pulling a rolling backpack behind him.

“I’m sorry, what?” I said.

“I need to watch your moves. You’ve got a way with the ladies,” he said.

I laughed and said, “I do alright,” and went on my way.

I couldn’t tell him what I was really thinking. Like really old man? Come on professor. What kind of extra credit are you trying to offer to your students?

I mean, anyone who knows me can tell you that I say some pretty crazy things. Whether it was sexually blunt, or sexually implying, I’ve said it.

The difference is that I’m still young and adorable. I can get away with it.

I realize one day my cuteness will be gone, and I’ll just end up being a creepy old man like him if I keep saying that stuff. But I hope I grow out of it.

It doesn’t really bother me, it just made me realize what I would be like if I don’t grow up.

Until then, I’ll just enjoy making innuendos.